I was not a notorious kid but there were few
naughty things I did as a child. Like stealthily putting on Maa’s Shakha Pola
when she was away from home or part my hair to put plentiful shidoor and act
like a shy Bengali Bou (Bengali bride) in front of the mirror. For those who
find the words Shaakha – Pola- Shidoor alien, I must explain:-
Shakha- white bangles of conch-shell
Pola- red bangles made of red corals.
Shaka pola are the most important symbols of marriage for a married bengali female. As a matter of fact, Shakha Pola are an integral part of Bengali culture. People now easily identifies me as Bengali woman by noticing Shakha Pola in my hands.
Shidoor- or Sindoor could not be alien to any Hindu woman. Still, it is red cosmetic powder ( vermillion) that married Hindu women smears on her head signifying her marital status. There are many dramatic verse in Bollywood movies that reveals the significance of Sindoor most histrionically. "1 chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu....."
When it comes to rituals, superstitious beliefs or conventional practices, I am a rebel. However, the ritual of wearing shakha pola caught my fancy ever since I was a little girl. On the wedding day, I was eagerly looking forward to this ceremony wherein seven married women make the bride to be wear her first set of shakha pola dipped in turmeric water. I was very happy to get my own sets. My hands appeared so pretty to me with shakha – pola on it that I couldn't help staring at it endlessly.
Just before the wedding, Maa cautioned me that the shakha must not break within a year of marriage as it spells bad omen for the husband. For a person like me who needs reasoning for everything, I have accepted the shakha pola ritual without any reasoning and I was pretty cautious too with my Shakha Pola in the first year of marriage.
My husband finds my habit of making esoteric choices of which ritual to accept and which to decline very funny. Yes, it is a funny line to walk, choosing few rituals to follow and thrust aside others as illogical. I might not smear my head with sindoor all the time and reserve it as a special gesture for some religious occasions or celebrations only. But the shakha pola is still on my hand even as I near completion of two years with Rupam. To be honest, it is not a subject of being ritualistic. It is not a matter of good or bad omen for me. It is more about freedom of making a choice. It is about loving a ritual, accepting it from heart and then making it a part of your life. May be, as a sign of love for your husband or as a liking for your culture or probably just out of respect for the ritualistic Gyaan received from all the elders, or just for inner satisfaction.
There is an age old adage-" Love is blind". Don’t know if love is really blind, but it makes the person in love blind and oblivious to all logics and reasoning. At times oblivion is blissful too.
Shakha- white bangles of conch-shell
Pola- red bangles made of red corals.
Shaka pola are the most important symbols of marriage for a married bengali female. As a matter of fact, Shakha Pola are an integral part of Bengali culture. People now easily identifies me as Bengali woman by noticing Shakha Pola in my hands.
Shidoor- or Sindoor could not be alien to any Hindu woman. Still, it is red cosmetic powder ( vermillion) that married Hindu women smears on her head signifying her marital status. There are many dramatic verse in Bollywood movies that reveals the significance of Sindoor most histrionically. "1 chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu....."
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| my dear husband trying to smear '1 mutthi sindoor " on the wedding day |
When it comes to rituals, superstitious beliefs or conventional practices, I am a rebel. However, the ritual of wearing shakha pola caught my fancy ever since I was a little girl. On the wedding day, I was eagerly looking forward to this ceremony wherein seven married women make the bride to be wear her first set of shakha pola dipped in turmeric water. I was very happy to get my own sets. My hands appeared so pretty to me with shakha – pola on it that I couldn't help staring at it endlessly.
 |
| Wearing Shkha Pola on the wedding day |
Just before the wedding, Maa cautioned me that the shakha must not break within a year of marriage as it spells bad omen for the husband. For a person like me who needs reasoning for everything, I have accepted the shakha pola ritual without any reasoning and I was pretty cautious too with my Shakha Pola in the first year of marriage.
My husband finds my habit of making esoteric choices of which ritual to accept and which to decline very funny. Yes, it is a funny line to walk, choosing few rituals to follow and thrust aside others as illogical. I might not smear my head with sindoor all the time and reserve it as a special gesture for some religious occasions or celebrations only. But the shakha pola is still on my hand even as I near completion of two years with Rupam. To be honest, it is not a subject of being ritualistic. It is not a matter of good or bad omen for me. It is more about freedom of making a choice. It is about loving a ritual, accepting it from heart and then making it a part of your life. May be, as a sign of love for your husband or as a liking for your culture or probably just out of respect for the ritualistic Gyaan received from all the elders, or just for inner satisfaction.
There is an age old adage-" Love is blind". Don’t know if love is really blind, but it makes the person in love blind and oblivious to all logics and reasoning. At times oblivion is blissful too.
