the wedlock- NOW & THEN

Couple of years back, for me, wedding was no more than a punishment that one has to undergo to escape societal pressure. Leaving one’s family  to live with a bunch of strangers, being thrust upon with unwanted responsibilities and expectations, loosing comfort and freedom of choosing how to live, what to wear, where to go , cooking, wearing sarees etc. etc. The list of post marital woes registered in my mind was interminable. Looking back, I admit now that my perception about the whole wedding thing was so wrong.

 

Mine was an arranged marriage; which, then appeared to be a bigger punishment. My mother was hyper actively screening for an apt match for me on wedding portals. Any Indian girl who has gone through this pre marital phase of meeting guys and their families (or talking to random people and answering the same old wedding FAQs) would agree that this phase is just a torture.

With Rupam(my husband) too it all started on a very uninteresting note. One fine day I received a long unending mail from this guy who had expressed interest on a matrimonial site earlier. One week post this e-mail, he came over to my place with his family to see me. By evening it was decided by both our parents that we are going to spend rest of our lives together and within a week we were going to get engaged. All this was very sudden. I could not elicit a reaction. The first reaction came out nearby midnight preceding my engagement day. I quietly went to my mother at 1 a.m. woke her up and asked her to call the engagement off. Very patiently she asked me to give one strong reason and she promised me that she will do as I wish. I had no logics, no reasons. I wasn’t scared of marrying Rupam. I was just scared of ‘getting married’. I quietly went back to bed and got engaged the next day.

Engaged

First date @Fio

I never thought that my marriage would be such a typical affair and like any other girl of my age I too had big boisterous dreams of a bollywood like miracle to happen in my life. 

 
It was only after we got engaged, we got to meet each other unaccompanied. Courtesy: Our conventional Bong families and my over protective Maa  :)) Our first formal date/ meeting/ whatever you name it was exactly one week after our engagement. It was like going out on a blind date. We hardly knew each other.

The pre wedding times.... Some framed 

and some in memories

Six months flew away with both of us trying hard to figure out each other. All we figured out till the last day of our bachelorhood was that – “ I am from Venus and he is from Mars” . We had absolutely nothing in common. Remember that Shaan- Sarika Song?? “ Mujh ko pasand hai Chinese khana, us ko pasand Tandoori…… “  I think that explains it all. The fun part in our courtship period was that we had decided to meet every Saturday and have a daylong date without letting our parents know about it. LoL! Like we were having a secret affair. In these six months, I took an off from my office every single Saturday and gave a good business to Bollywood. We saw shittiest of movies in theatres.

Anyways! Sorry for wandering away from the topic. It is pretty hard not to count on the good memories. Originally I intended to write about how I despised the idea of getting married and how I differ from my own perspective two years after I got into the wedlock. Lets have a sneak peak of my perspective then and now……

There are countless differences in our nature, behavior and outlook towards different things in life and like any normal couple we too have craziest of fights. He has a sweet tooth, when I love hot and spicy meals; I am a diehard Facebook fan, when he finds it a waste of time; for me vacations must be full of adventure and action, whereas he longs for a peaceful laid back time during vacations; Bungee jumping and para sailing is my life’s biggest wish, when he finds both these as an expensive way to jump in the death bed. I can list down at least 100 major differences in me and Rupam. But, I guess differences makes life interesting and we can happily deal with the differences.

Marriage is not as scary as I had presumed. Looking at it from the angle of a blissfully married girl, I can say that above all, it gives you a friend for life; a true friend who will laugh and cry with you.  And I think that’s what matters the most in life. A lifelong friend who will be there fighting, laughing and crying along. Who will always find you beautiful even when your skin wrinkles and you are nearing the end on your rickety structure……. 

LOVE

IS

AWESOME

                                               

PS:- This blog is dedicated to my two lovely cousins who will be married in couple of years and I am sure they too are going through the same dilemma as I was, two years back :))