the wedlock- NOW & THEN

Couple of years back, for me, wedding was no more than a punishment that one has to undergo to escape societal pressure. Leaving one’s family  to live with a bunch of strangers, being thrust upon with unwanted responsibilities and expectations, loosing comfort and freedom of choosing how to live, what to wear, where to go , cooking, wearing sarees etc. etc. The list of post marital woes registered in my mind was interminable. Looking back, I admit now that my perception about the whole wedding thing was so wrong.

 

Mine was an arranged marriage; which, then appeared to be a bigger punishment. My mother was hyper actively screening for an apt match for me on wedding portals. Any Indian girl who has gone through this pre marital phase of meeting guys and their families (or talking to random people and answering the same old wedding FAQs) would agree that this phase is just a torture.

With Rupam(my husband) too it all started on a very uninteresting note. One fine day I received a long unending mail from this guy who had expressed interest on a matrimonial site earlier. One week post this e-mail, he came over to my place with his family to see me. By evening it was decided by both our parents that we are going to spend rest of our lives together and within a week we were going to get engaged. All this was very sudden. I could not elicit a reaction. The first reaction came out nearby midnight preceding my engagement day. I quietly went to my mother at 1 a.m. woke her up and asked her to call the engagement off. Very patiently she asked me to give one strong reason and she promised me that she will do as I wish. I had no logics, no reasons. I wasn’t scared of marrying Rupam. I was just scared of ‘getting married’. I quietly went back to bed and got engaged the next day.

Engaged

First date @Fio

I never thought that my marriage would be such a typical affair and like any other girl of my age I too had big boisterous dreams of a bollywood like miracle to happen in my life. 

 
It was only after we got engaged, we got to meet each other unaccompanied. Courtesy: Our conventional Bong families and my over protective Maa  :)) Our first formal date/ meeting/ whatever you name it was exactly one week after our engagement. It was like going out on a blind date. We hardly knew each other.

The pre wedding times.... Some framed 

and some in memories

Six months flew away with both of us trying hard to figure out each other. All we figured out till the last day of our bachelorhood was that – “ I am from Venus and he is from Mars” . We had absolutely nothing in common. Remember that Shaan- Sarika Song?? “ Mujh ko pasand hai Chinese khana, us ko pasand Tandoori…… “  I think that explains it all. The fun part in our courtship period was that we had decided to meet every Saturday and have a daylong date without letting our parents know about it. LoL! Like we were having a secret affair. In these six months, I took an off from my office every single Saturday and gave a good business to Bollywood. We saw shittiest of movies in theatres.

Anyways! Sorry for wandering away from the topic. It is pretty hard not to count on the good memories. Originally I intended to write about how I despised the idea of getting married and how I differ from my own perspective two years after I got into the wedlock. Lets have a sneak peak of my perspective then and now……

There are countless differences in our nature, behavior and outlook towards different things in life and like any normal couple we too have craziest of fights. He has a sweet tooth, when I love hot and spicy meals; I am a diehard Facebook fan, when he finds it a waste of time; for me vacations must be full of adventure and action, whereas he longs for a peaceful laid back time during vacations; Bungee jumping and para sailing is my life’s biggest wish, when he finds both these as an expensive way to jump in the death bed. I can list down at least 100 major differences in me and Rupam. But, I guess differences makes life interesting and we can happily deal with the differences.

Marriage is not as scary as I had presumed. Looking at it from the angle of a blissfully married girl, I can say that above all, it gives you a friend for life; a true friend who will laugh and cry with you.  And I think that’s what matters the most in life. A lifelong friend who will be there fighting, laughing and crying along. Who will always find you beautiful even when your skin wrinkles and you are nearing the end on your rickety structure……. 

LOVE

IS

AWESOME

                                               

PS:- This blog is dedicated to my two lovely cousins who will be married in couple of years and I am sure they too are going through the same dilemma as I was, two years back :))

SHIMLA MIRCH AALU WITH SOYA CHUNKS recipe

I literally hated cooking. I still do at times.

However, when I started learning, I discovered that cooking too is a creative field and being a creative Piscean I somehow developed a liking for it. For instance, take Shimla Mirch Aalu Sabzi. I personally find it very boring. However, take the creative freedom of adding chunks of paneer to it or soya chunks. Trust me; the boaring sabzi will get a dramatic savoury twist.

We are not spending this weekend at home and hence I am compelled to empty my vegetable tray in refrigerator. So, I decided to finish the stock of Shimla Mirch and prepare SHIMLA MIRCH - AALU with SOYA CHUNKS for dinner. Here goes the recipe:-

We bought 250 gms Shimla Mirch. Looks like a very small quantity; however, when mixed with potatoes and soya chunks, it will result in a copious amount. I took one big potato and 3/4th bowl of soya chunks. You may vary the quantity as per your taste preferences. I love soya bean chunks and hence always try to maximize soya quantity.

In the first step I washed, deseeded and cut the Shimla Mirch. I prefer long pieces so I made 5 vertical slices of each. You may vary here again. Washed the potato, peeled it and cut it in long pieces to match the shimla mirch.

As I did the above mentioned things, I also had soaked the soya chunks in salt water and boiled it for a minute. This makes the chunks soft. After draining the water and squeezing the chunks to free it from remaining water, I fried it. Frying kills the raw smell. I prefer frying the soya chunks in mustard oil.

After frying soya, I fried the cut potatoes. Some people do not fry it beforehand and let the potato soften while preparing the final subzi. But I lack patience and prefer half processing the potatoes beforehand as it takes maximum time to soften.

In the next step, I heated one table spoon of refined oil in wok for final preparation. Do not put much oil as the soya chunks and potatoes are already fried. A little oil is required to cook the spices and Shimla Mirch. The first ingredient to go in the oil was cumin seeds, followed by finely sliced onion and ginger- garlic paste. After the onion turned a slight golden brown and the ginger garlic paste lost raw smell, one medium sized tomato was pureed and added.

  

I used the grater to puree tomato. Using mixer grinder every time is rather tedious than helpful. You may also finely chop the tomatoes instead of making puree.

Keep stirring the ingredients at regular interval and cook on a medium flame. The ginger tends to stick to the wok so do not let the ingredients sit for a long time. The base will burn otherwise.

Next, the dry spices were added. I teaspoon red chilli, ½ teaspoon coriander powder, ½ tea spoon cumin powder, a little turmeric and salt as per taste. You may experiment by adding kitchen king masala or maggi bhuna masala or any other masala to enhance the flavour. I avoided adding any such masala as my husband always complains that I overdo when it comes to spices. Yes, he is right. I love the aromatic spices and I love my meals all spicy and hot. :-)  

Moving on with the recipe, if you find the spices getting very dry and sticking to the bottom sprinkle some water and stir. After cooking for couple of minutes, when the spices left oil, I mixed in the Shimla Mirch, Potato pieces and soya chunks and mixed it well with the spices.

After this, my side of the cooking story was over and the flame had to do the remaining job. I left the dish covered for cooking on a medium flame and kept stirring it in between. After 7-10 minutes the potatoes and shimla mirch were done. I always check if the potatoes are cooked well using a fork.

There is an old belief that one should not eat (or taste) while cooking. I would differ and advice to always taste at the end of preparation. This gives you a confirmation that the salt and chilly is mixed in right proportion and you may give finishing touch to the dish if necessary.

The ultimate outcome was very delicious and the soya chunks had added an impressive twist as expected. CHECK IT OUT & TRY IT OUT ………… SOME PICTURES FOR THE TIME BEING

:)) 

TRADITIONAL STREAKS- The symbols of marriage

I was not a notorious kid but there were few naughty things I did as a child. Like stealthily putting on Maa’s Shakha Pola when she was away from home or part my hair to put plentiful shidoor and act like a shy Bengali Bou (Bengali bride) in front of the mirror. For those who find the words Shaakha – Pola- Shidoor alien, I must explain:-


Shakha- white bangles of conch-shell




Pola- red bangles made of red corals. 



Shaka pola are the most important symbols of marriage  for a married bengali female. As a matter of fact, Shakha Pola are an integral part of Bengali culture. People now easily identifies me as Bengali woman by noticing Shakha Pola in my hands.




Shidoor- or Sindoor could not be alien to any Hindu woman. Still, it is red cosmetic powder ( vermillion) that married Hindu women smears on her head  signifying her marital status. There are many dramatic verse in Bollywood movies that reveals the significance of Sindoor most histrionically. "1 chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu....."

my dear husband trying to smear '1 mutthi sindoor " on the wedding day

When it comes to rituals, superstitious beliefs or conventional practices, I am a rebel. However, the ritual of wearing shakha pola caught my fancy ever since I was a little girl. On the wedding day, I was eagerly looking forward to this ceremony wherein seven married women make the bride to be wear her first set of shakha pola dipped in turmeric water. I was very happy to get my own sets. My hands appeared so pretty to me with shakha – pola on it that I couldn't help staring at it endlessly.

Wearing Shkha Pola on the wedding day

Just before the wedding, Maa cautioned me that the shakha must not break within a year of marriage as it spells bad omen for the husband. For a person like me who needs reasoning for everything, I have accepted the shakha pola ritual without any reasoning and I was pretty cautious too with my Shakha Pola in the first year of marriage.

My husband finds my habit of making esoteric choices of which ritual to accept and which to decline very funny.  Yes, it is a funny line to walk, choosing few rituals to follow and thrust aside others as illogical. I might not smear my head with sindoor all the time and reserve it as a special gesture for some religious occasions or celebrations only. But the shakha pola is still on my hand even as I near completion of two years with Rupam. To be honest, it is not a subject of being ritualistic. It is not a matter of good or bad omen for me. It is more about freedom of making a choice. It is about loving a ritual, accepting it from heart and then making it a part of your life. May be, as a sign of love for your husband or as a liking for your culture or probably just out of respect for the ritualistic Gyaan received from all the elders, or just for inner satisfaction.
There is an age old adage-" Love is blind". Don’t know if love is really blind, but it makes the person in love blind and oblivious to all logics and reasoning. At times oblivion is blissful too.

EASY POMFRET RECIPE

We were taking a leisurely stroll around the CR park market when the fresh Pomfrets caught our eyes and we decided to go for it. Bongs are very fond of this fish. Rupam too loves Pomfret shorshe bata (a.k.a. Pomfret in mustard sauce).

I had my husband's favourite fish in hand and the irony was that I had never seen my mom making it. So, I had no recipe. Without wasting any time I Googled for the recipe. Exactly then it struck me that I had seen my mother-in-law cooking some other fish in shorshe bata (mustard sauce) and I decided to proceed with the same recipe. So, my tryst with pomfrets started and I could prepare a decent Pomfret Shorshe Bata going by the washed out memories of my Mother in law’s recipe. The steps were:-

   

   The first and the obvious step is to clean the fish. I had put my husband on task for this step.

  Next marinade the fish pieces by rubbing little salt and turmeric into the pieces.

Marinated fish pieces

  Then heat some mustard oil in a wok and fry the fish pieces till it turns dark golden in color. This step requires a little patience and care. Firstly, heat the oil very well. It should be smoking hot.

Take extra care while flipping the fishes in the frying process as it tends to break.

Have patience while frying the fish. It takes a little time. However, be careful not to burn the pieces.

  
  Once the fishes are fried, the next step is to cook them in mustard sauce curry.To prepare mustard sauce I had soaked two large tea spoon full of mustard seeds in warm water for half hour.

Take out mustard seeds from water and put in a grinder with one green chilli. 

Grind it into a fine paste using a little water.

Separate the mustard seed skin out of the sauce by using a sieve. The output would be fine thick creamy mustard sauce.

  
  The final step is to cook the fried pomfrets in mustard sauce curry. For this, heat some more mustard oil in wok. You may use the oil left from fish frying.

After the oil is piping hot, put nigella seeds, a.k.a. kalongi; a green chilli slit into two halves. 

After the nigella seeds stops spluttering, put in a little turmeric, red chilli and mustard sauce.

Cook for a minute and add one medium sized finely chopped tomato. Mix in salt, cover and cook.

Stir the curry every 2-3 minutes so that it do not stic to the bottom and keep cooking on medium flame till the tomatoes are mushy and mixed well in the curry.

  Now, add the fried pomfret pieces into the curry and stir well. Add some water. In this preparation, the curry has thick consistency; so do not add much water. The curry must be thick and not watery. Cook covered for 4-5 minutes. Garnish with chopped coriander leaves

The dish is quick and easy to prepare. I loved the fact that it turned out so tasty even after using minimum oil and spices. I had a firm belief that tasty dishes must have more spices. This proved to be a myth after I prepared Pomphret Shorshe Bata.

Enjoy the Pics :))

PALAK PANEER recipe with pictures

I am not a great fan of home cooked food. But there are few stuff which tastes better home made. Since Sunday evening I got this huge craving for palak paneer. Finally, last evening I had palak paneer to my heart's content. Here goes the recipe. 

We got 1/2 kg Palak. Sufficient for two of us. I washed the palak thrice and cut off the roots. Holding palak from its end, I cut it in 2-3 sections and put in a pressure cooker along with one medium onion, 5-6 garlic cloves and a little salt. No additional water is required to blanch palak. Palak will leave ample water to cook itself. The palak was done in two  whistles and looked like this.

The next step was to turn it to a smooth paste using grinder. The paste must be smooth not watery.

Cooking also makes you a good multi-tasker. As I progressed with the above mentioned steps, I also had heated the wok,deep fried paneer, and started my preparation for frying palak. You may also put the paneer raw. I like it with a golden tint so I fried for a minute or two. It is important to dip paneer in hot salted water after frying. This restores the softness and also ensures that it is properly salted. The water left of soaked paneer can be used to cook or to prepare dough. Why leave anything nutritious unused  :) ??

In the next step it was time to fry the palak paste. I love the smell of whole spice; called khade masale in local language. Dalchini, laung and elaichi adds a flavourful twist to any dish. So the first step of frying palak was to add Khade Masale in heated oil. 3 cloves, 2 small cardamoms and an inch of dalchini (cinnamon)  were good. Cooking is a lot about experimenting. These khade masale could have been added while pressure cooking the palak or can be added at the end in powdered form after the palak paneer is almost cooked. 

After Khade Masale, I had put a small teaspoon full cumin seeds. After the cumin seeds spluttred and the crackling sound was over, a medium sized finely chopped tomato was added. You may add a big tomato if you like the tangy taste. Along with tomato I  added salt, a little turmeric powder, one teaspoon coriander powder and one teaspoon red chilli powder.

I also added one green chilli earlier as I have a soft corner for green chillies ;) and put it in every thing except for the sweet dishes. 

After the spices were cooked and left oil, the palak paste was mixed in it and fried for few minutes. It looked like this .....

After few minutes of frying, the paneer was mixed in and fried again for few minutes.

Cover and cook as much as possible to save fuel, cook fast and most importantly to avoid loosing the flavour. The Palak paneer is 90% ready. A little butter or ghee will complete it 100%. If you do not have "weighty issues", use ghee instead of oil for cooking and be assured to get this Palak Paneer craving very often ;)

Yesterday, even the phulkas turned out pretty good. And we had this amazing dinner of Dal Makhni, Palak Paneer and Phulkas.  Damn Yummy!! Check them out....

PS: It is difficult to concentrate on cooking and take good pictures at the same time, however I managed to take a few with my phone's cam. Recipes without pictures aren't quite appealing. Right??

Sweet Nothings......... PAYESH RECIPE

PAYESH

NOT 2 BAD FOR THE FIRST TIMER

Every newly wed bride is expected to cook something sweet for her new family. I chose PAYESH. North India knows it as kheer. So 2day was my crash course for payesh preparation. I was amused by the ease with which it can be prepared.So here is how my maa makes it :-

THE GOLDEN RULE- Pour in copious amount of milk to make the payesh tastier.

• A little more than half liter milk is good for handful of rice.
• Put the milk on heat and let it come to a boil.
• Clean uncooked rice and mix in some clarified butter (ghee) in the rice with light hand. This brings out a nice flavor in Payesh.
• Add a tejpatta/ 2 elaichis to milk.
• When the milk comes to the boiling point, add in rice and cook it on a medium flame.
• Let the milk boil till the rice is 90% cooked
• Add sugar to the boiling milk and add raisins(Kishmish). Adding sugar earlier will not let the rice soften properly.
• Keep boiling till the rice is cooked and the milk is almost dried (do not dry it completely as the rice will soak in more milk making the payesh very tight and dry).
• Once done, garnish with saffron, kaju and almonds.

So, my crash course is over and I will try to prepare Payesh once more before the wedding without any guidance from maa. Just 2 revise ;) After all that will be my first opportunity 2 impress my new family and I better do it well ...........

Emotional @ 1:21 at Night

Its 1.21 at night (IST) and couldn't think of a more constructive way of Killing time. So, I blog when even the mosquitoes around me have started snoring.


Whats up?? Whats keeping me up so late??


Can't say....... But I am a acting a little funny these days. My appetite has gone for a toss; my system is sleep deprived these days and the social animal in me has eloped some where..... In simple words , I don't feel hungry all day long, I don't feel sleepy even at 2 at night and I don't feel like talking to anyone at all....... Just SIXTEEN days to go..................and I guess that's exactly what is taking a toll on my mind. 


I am getting what I had always wanted. Infact I am about to get what I had yearned for most in my life. My "SuM"one special. But the thought of going away from my family, Maa....... Baba.....Bhai........; Not being with them always; No more mindless arguments with maa; no more fight for the TV remote with Bhai........ is driving me crazy. 




It really takes too much to be a GIRL :(  Love u Maa ,Papa, Ashu and I wish I can be there for you always........